Going Deep

going deep
is there a space somewhere inside that resonates here? Is it damp and cold enough? Are there things I am willing to give up to open my heart to the world. To love, to live. to be. I find that some days I realize the truth and even might start to feel it working through me. The pure light, the shining star, the divine love inside of me. How precious it is and how sad it seems that so many of us deny it. So many of us don't even see it. Some never see it actually. Going through life in a daze of the ego mind. Where nothing is as it seems.. like Alice in Wonderland.
going deep
I come to this spot inside of me where I have always known the divine. Where it is a best friend who has been with me throughout each and every journey. side by side, holding my hand through all of it... the good, the "bad".. the ugly. The terrifying things that are even unimaginable to me right now. The divine in me forgives this though, the divine forgives me for getting lost in this ego mind that so easily consumes so many.
going deep
there is a small lamp decorated in lace and pale violet velvet. An antique that is so beautiful there are no words to describe. I read by this light. I see by this light my true face. My true inner essence. My true strength and destiny. Oh, destiny... what did you have in mind? ha, how funny it is I address it as though it were another ego mind itself. but only when we excuse ourselves from this chitter chatter of the ego self do we find true freedom, peace, happiness. Just remember.. note to self: You can be the observer of this thing we call "ego" and you can listen to it chatter about rampant and fearful things filled with drama and lies.. and you can have compassion and understanding for it's force trying so so so desperatly to hold on to you with all of its little might.... observe, but don't believe in and drown in this ego self. It is yet another expression of you.. but on a deeper level.. NOT YOU at all.
going deeper
Love. I feel that someone holding me gently and tenderly is possibly all I have ever really wanted. Stripped of money and all things material the one raw want/need remains to be held. To be known, to be seen.. for who I really am; a divine spirit who longs to simply love and be loved.. live and let live. For peace. No more anguish and man made pain. No more story after story told over and over again to keep myself the same. Ego mind teaches me to be nervous and to have no patience with myself. Teaches me to hold on to the past and think of the future.. neither of which exist.. and to keep me in a selfish trap of insanity.
Ten minutes up and there is always so much more that flows....
Now to meditate...
:)