During a hike yesterday, I got in touch with this dark presence inside me who is keen on my staying small, distracted, addicted, doubtful and down. I realize I have been used to recognizing this presence as an invader, an entity, an alien presence that has entered me against my will and which I must eradicate. But I saw it this time as simply a part of me, simply me, who has eben with me for a very long time, and that removing him is not necessarily the answer, or even possible. He must be accepted and integrated and perhaps loved, and then my power will not be given away thinking that somehow I allowed in some dark presence or energy during an unconscious moment. Instead my power can be used to 'embrace' this presence and transmute and integrate its power, which it indeed has, for higher means.
This was a very cool realization to feel embodied in.
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chills went through me and tears in my eyes as i read your writing, reminding me again to embrace all aspects and expressions, to love the compulsive, scared, addicted parts...to love myself and to allow those parts to heal, grow and integrate.
ReplyDeleteyes, there are gifts here...untapped power and brilliance in embracing teh dark...
i love you chris!